不孝

清明时节雨纷纷，
路上行人欲断魂。
借问酒家何处有，
牧童遥指杏花村。

Hey, peeps... It’s Chinese All Souls’ Day again. You sudah pergi 清明?

清明 is an event which falls on the 5th day of April every year. And every SINGLE Chinese family must and will have to participate in it. If you don’t, you are considered as 不孝 bù xiào!

That’s why every year on the first week of April, you will see hordes of people rush back to their hometown (majiam competition) to clean their ancestors’ graves and to appease the dead with offerings like hell notes and FOOD. The more the merrier (Chinese are sibeh the kiasu one I tell you).

Yes, you heard me right, I said FOOD. Some will even go to the extra mile to prepare a feast that can feed hundreds. And my 6 million dollar question is:

Can the "dead" really eat the food you prepared?

Errr... I’m not trying to be disrespectful or anything, but it does make me wonder why some people BOTHER to treat the dead better than those who are still around and alive?

For example, when their loved ones are still kicking and dandy, they don’t bother with them at all. No visit, no money, no food. Only after they are gone, then only they remember them. Sad, isn’t it?

And another crappy thing is that sometimes the graves that we visit, we may have never met or know "them" at all. (Maybe because when they were alive, we were not even born yet.) All we know is that somehow somewhere up in the family tree that he/she was our ancestor. For e.g., Great grandmother’s aunty’s husband’s brother’s cousin’s sister. WTF right?! But still, we HAVE TO appease "them" every year without fail. Are we being filial or we are just following blindly?

*Sigh*

So in my opinion, 清明 is overrated just like our much celebrated Valentine’s Day. If you DO love someone, everyday can be a Valentine’s Day. And if you DO remember your loved ones, you won’t wait until they are dead then only you remember that you have to visit them on 清明.

And another screwed up thing which I want to mention here is our rigid Chinese custom:

Daughters are not allowed to join the sons to visit their OWN parents’ graves.

WTF???

Why the discrimination?

Married daughters are not your daughters anymore ka?

Married siblings are not your siblings anymore ka?

Once you are married, you are not your parents’ daughters anymore ka?

Answer me now you CHEEBYE!

Actually it’s us, the stupid kiasu people who create such selfish rules to prohibit the girls from visiting their parents’ graves. Because we the stupid kiasu people are afraid that the family luck and prosperity which is "leftover" by our ancestors will be distributed too thinly if all the siblings (especially girls) are included in the household.

We the stupid kiasu people think that since the daughters are going to marry into another household and bear their husbands' surname anyway, they can no longer be considered as our children anymore.

And thus we the stupid kiasu people will do all we might to ensure that the girls and their husbands (who are considered as outsiders) will not be able to compete the "leftover" luck and wealth from our ancestors with us (the rightful owners). As the saying goes, outsiders can never have a slice of our family cheesecake.

That’s why we the stupid kiasu people stop the daughters from taking part in the family 清明 because we cannot tolerate to see other people enjoy better luck and wealth than us. Especially when we the stupid kiasu people BELIEVE that the wealth and luck that they are enjoying come from our very OWN family and ancestors!

We the stupid kiasu people are just a bunch of STUPID GREEN EYES MONSTERS with big fat heads minus the brain cells! GAaaaahhhh!!! *TITOKI ROaRSss*

And now, my dear reader, do you still think that we REALLY REALLY REALLY miss our ancestors so much that we have to visit their graves ONCE every year?!

No way MAN!!!! What we really WANT is our family "leftover" wealth and luck only nia!!!

That’s why I said, our heart is darker than the shit that we shit and we are uglier than the little ugly duckling in the children’s books that we read when we were kids. Well, at least the ugly duckling gets to grow up to become a pretty swan, but us, the older we get the uglier we become!

Oh and please remember that no matter what, blood is always thicker than water. And who are you to stop others from visiting their own parents’ graves? (Mind your own business laa auntie!!!)

Ed note:
1) I just have to say this piece (which has been dormant in my heart for a long time already) out loud before the 清明 is over.

2) Bikini pics will be up next!