When you have a fucking cheebye moron Christian for boss... (Part 3)

Disclaimer:
No offense intended to all the Christian readers out there. This post is targeted at the self-proclaimed Christian boss at my sis's workplace who happened to be a moronic bitch maximus. Read at your own risk. Cheerios.

I turned to my sister and I said to her, "That woman said she's going to call you back in five minutes times. I'm going to work now. If she didn't call you back by 11 A.M. today, please let me know."

My sis waited and waited and waited and waited and waited like a sohai until 11.30 A.M. Then she sent me an SMS, "Ah Jie, my headmaster has not called me back yet."

"SMS me her phone number to me now." I replied.

She sent me her headmaster's mobile phone number and also her office number.

I called up the kindy and a clerk/receptionist by the name of Penny answered my call. I asked her to transfer me to the bitch and she kindly obliged.

"Hello Bitch, it's me again. R's sister. Did you consult with your Management already? Have you got an answer for my sister now? And how come you didn't call my sis back?" I straightaway C4-ed her into bits and pieces.

"Ask R to come collect her pay and cert on Friday. Everything will be ready on Friday. Okay bye!" She water-boiled-legs hung up my call again. Blardy spineless I would say. I don't even get the chance to compliment her sudden improvement in her 'efficiency' department. Nor do I have the chance to say "Bye" to her chaocheebye.

I called up the kindy again. Why?

That bitch is famous for being a 'two-faced' hypocrite. She changes her mind faster than you see and hear the thunder and lightning. She is the type who will promise you the sky and rainbow to lure you into her lair and then give you hell and torture you 9-9 later. For example, the teachers in the kindy are cowed to paint the wall, wash the chairs and tables, trim the grass, and scrub the toilet and kitchen floors during school holidays like cheap Koohlies.

Thus, I do not believe in any of her words. Do you know how many times my sis was made to go back and forth to the kindy just to submit her resignation letter to her in person? And coincidentally, every time also she wasn't in. IMHO, I have never seen such a childish 40-ish woman who is so cheapskate like her, i.e., pull childish prank (hide-and-seek) on her own staff of whom she holds a grudge with. To add salt to the wound, these young teachers of hers are in their early twenties but they behave WAY mature than her.

Back to the story. Penny picked up my call again. This time, I had a new tactic in mind. Instead of asking to speak to the bitch herself, I instructed Penny to pass her a message:

"Dear headmaster, if R did not receive her pay and her cert on Friday as promised, her sister will come to see you in person."

That did the trick. My sister received a call from the bitch in the afternoon and she was promptly informed that her cheque and cert are ready and can be collected from Penny on Friday.

"Hooray~!!! We won! We won!" We couldn't suppress our sexcitement on Thursday night. And OH-MY-GAWD, how naïve we were to think that we had won the battle from The Devil. Life is not a bed of roses. Instead, it is like a box of chocolates!

When Friday came, my sis went to the kindy to collect her cert and her final month salary. Again, she was bullied into submitting herself to another merry-go-round again; she was asked to collect her cheque in another kindy (quite far away) where the Finance and HR people are based in. Real KANASAI can die aitelyu!!!

Never mind that. The worst part is that she was forced to accept the following notice from her England-powderfool Headmaster:

Dear R,

We acknowledge receipt of your letter dated 9 Dec, 2008 tendering your resignation from the Company. As per our earlier discussion and you have verbally agreed to continue to serve the Company. However, the final decision is yours.

Please be advised that your resignation is hereby accepted. For the record, your last service date with the Company would be 13 November, 2008.

You are requested to surrender all office properties to your superior.

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
The Bitch

So my sis was paid less than half a month of salary for the month of November. But in her contract, it was clearly stated that she gets to enjoy her full month salary during the school break, although the last day of the semester was 13 November, 2008. She shall get her full pay for the month of November and also December. But she didn't.

On top of that, I can't believe that the bitch only acknowledged the latter resignation letter which was dated 9 Dec and not the one dated waaay back in June. As for the 'discussion' which she so proudly mentioned in her letter above, it actually ALSO took place waaay back in June/July. I mean, how come the bitch DARES to acknowledge the 'existence' of the conversation but not the resignation itself? And also, how can she accuse and hold someone liable without any black and white? Furthermore, it wasn't my sis who disappeared for more than two weeks playing mouse-and-cat. It was that chaocheebye who chose to live in denial.

Sigh. I really don't know what step I should take next.

1) Should I storm into her office, bitch-slap her left, right, and center, to fight for the justice?

Or,

2) Should I take the money and run?

Slapping her will make my hands sore. Letting her off the hook so easily 我不甘心 (reluctant). Sometimes I feel really 'tulan' dealing with such a mothercowcheebye. So degil liddat can die. What's your advice?


Related posts:
Part 1
Part 2

When you have a fucking cheebye moron Christian for boss... (Part 2)

Disclaimer:
No offense intended to all the Christian readers out there. This post is targeted at the self-proclaimed Christian boss at my sis's workplace who happened to be a moronic bitch maximus. Read at your own risk. Cheerios.

My sister handed in the resignation notice to her boss again last week. The bitch was not in at that time. So she went home to wait for her to call. Two days have come and gone, still no wind no shadow.

Talk about the influence of alcohol. Mom made some super strong ginger wine chicken soup for us the night before. So I ate it with Mee Sua this morning as breakfast. The wine is damn KAAANG. So KAAANG until when my sis called up the bitch to ask her when her salary is ready and when she can collect her certificate, and etc (on speaker phone), and when the bitch couldn't give a definite yes and no, I was so mad that I grabbed her handphone and gave the bitch a good scolding.

"Excuse me Bitch, this is R's sister. Just now I heard you saying that you might give my sis a cheque or bank-in her final month salary to her. Which one is it? And when exactly can she expect to receive it?" I spoke slowly and clearly to make sure that she catches every word that I uttered.

"Maybe Thursday. Maybe Friday. Maybe next week. Mostly likely Friday. Your sister disappeared for two weeks (LIE!). I called and texted her also no reply (MORE LIES!!). Now she suddenly said she wants to resign. I need to inform my Management first and prepare the necessary bla bla bla..." She replied with LOTSA lame excuses. So lame that it actually makes Kenny Sia's retarded jokes on his blog sound funny.

"Hey woman, listen." I interrupted her long-winded bible talk. "My sister submitted her resignation letter to you 6 months ago. Did you not receive it? Why do you need so MANY days to process so LITTLE things?"

"Yes, your sister submitted her resignation letter to me 6 months ago. But we talked and she agreed (verbally) to stay. Now she suddenly said she wants to leave again. I need to consult with my Management first." She tried to argue. Like how a 白痴 tried to revive a salted fish liddat.

"Please DO NOT blame my sister for your own incompetency and inefficiency. My sis did not disappear. She had been going back and forth to the kindy to look for you. Where have you been? In addition, she does not need to submit you another resignation notice for a second time (which she did). Her two-year contract is expiring end of this year. She only needs to inform you that she is not interested to continue to work with you anymore. What more do you need? Why are you still delaying her pay? Tell me now, when can she expect her final month salary??? Also, when are you going to return her the training certificate which she had paid for herself??? Give me a DATE!" I questioned her back 9 9 until she cannot come up with a good rebuttal and had to pause for a few seconds for composure.

"..." Silence...

"..." Still silence... (That Sohai headmaster needs more time to think.)

"Ask R to call me back in 5 minutes time. I need to consult with my Management first." She replied reluctantly.

"Why do you want my sis to call you back?! Why can't you call her back and give her the answer?!" I slapped a big trout on her face to check if she's awake.

"Why can't R call me?"

She got the blardy lards and guts to question ME back. She doesn't know how to spell the word D.I.E.

"Hello?! I asked you a question (on when can she receive her salary and certificate). And you can't answer me that because you said you need to consult with YOUR Management first. So where is your basic manners and courtesy as a professional who can't reply a question posed to her and need time to think and reply?" I took my knife out and made sure she die fugly.

"Okay okay, I'll call your sis back later." Toot~ and she hung up.

(To be continued...)


Related posts:
Part 1
Part 3

When you have a fucking cheebye moron Christian for boss...

Disclaimer:
No offense intended to all the Christian readers out there. This post is targeted at the self-proclaimed Christian boss at my sis's workplace who happened to be a moronic bitch maximus. Read at your own risk. Cheerios.

My sis, Little R, is an innocent sweet-young-thing who can be quite timid at times, especially when being bullied by her own superior. Sis worked as a teacher in a reputable kindergarten in the city. The story goes like this...

Sis handed in her resignation letter 6 months ago (as stipulated in her contract) after taking in much bull shit from her boss, Ms Wendy, the Headmistress, who is a self-proclaimed Christian. (Faker!!!)

This bitch Wendy demanded her staff, i.e., all the teachers, to work on Saturday every now and then for no apparent reasons. Sometimes to decorate the classrooms. Sometimes just to listen to her rant and lecture. Sometimes said got training but actually there is none. In fact, she just wanted to force-feed her staff to join her Christian gatherings, be it Sunday prayers or whatever fuck excuses that she can come up with.

My sis had been dutifully attended all of them cheebye events since day 1 with no overtime claimed. Until one day, my sis told the bitch that she can't come in to work on one of the Saturdays because she needs to attend our cousin's wedding. Guess what the bitch told my sis, "It's just your cousin's wedding only. It's not even your own sister's wedding. You don't need to go one lah."

Enough is enough. So my mom went to see the bitch and gave her a good spit in the face,

"Hello, excuse me, please don't talk Jesus to me, okay? Our family is unlike you (self-proclaimed Christian). We hold on to very strong family values at heart and our blood. Our ties are even stronger. If a family member needs help or anything, we'll just be there for them. And now it's my niece's wedding, which is a big event and a once in a lifetime thing to me and my family members, why in your wonderfool God's name that you don't allow my daughter to attend her own cousin's wedding?"

The bitch kept quiet and said OK OK OK like how Lingam said Korek Korek Korek. But then hor when my mom turned her back, i.e., went home already, she told my sis that she had to deduct her salary bla bla bla because she cannot show up and fulfill her duty bla bla bla. Really kanasai one that self-proclaimed Christian BIATCH. Macaohai. What a hypocrite.

Never mind that. You see, 6 months ago, my sis had already submitted her resignation notice. But that bitch is like living in self-denial liddat, didn't believe that my sis will really want to leave her kindy one day liddat. So she didn't just did not bother to prepare the necessary documents and transition plans; she gave my sis lecture on 'Surviving the Bad Economy' everyday to intimidate her to stay on. Until my sis beh tahan her harassment anymore and 敷衍 her that she'll consider to stay on (verbally only har) then only the bitch stopped spitting her saliva at her.

Okay. Never mind that again. That lanjiao kindy got a very INTERESTING policy which states that the teachers have to bear their own course cost to attend the one-week in-house training during the school holidays which is a compulsory curriculum for all the staff in the kindy. My sis attended the training last year. And the bitch got a helluva fun time deducting the money from her salary every friggin' month until she's satisfied that the kindy has got the money back from the staff.

Okay. A BIG NEVER MIND about that again. Until today, my sis and all the other staff members' who had attended the training still have not received their certificates from the organiser yet. You know why? Well, the in-house training certificates (dated waaay back 2007) are being withheld by the said bitch. IT IS A POLICY, she exclaimed. Don't even think about getting it back until the day you resign. You know what, this is the most canggih piece of MANAGEMENT DOMINATION style I have ever seen in my life. It is like amputating your limbs and mutilating your organs and making you a beggar and prisoner for life.

OH WELL NEVER MIND THAT 'A-BIG-BIG-BIG' AGAIN. That bitch is still withholding my sis's salary for the month of November. And my sis went to see her every other day to chase her up on her payment and guess what she asked my sis to do.

"You need to submit another resignation letter to me."

She said.

What a freaking moron. So okay. I drafted the following peri-peri hot resignation notice reminder for that bitch on behalf of my poor sis.

Dear Bitch,

Re: Resignation Reminder

This is a reminder of the resignation letter which I had tendered to you dated back on Day, Month, 2008.

As mentioned previously, I am unable to continue my service with Tadika Cheebye from 2009 onwards for a better career advancement opportunity and exposure.

I would also like to collect the XXX training certificate (2007) from you today which I had paid for the full amount myself last year.

Thanks for your guidance and support for the past 2 years. It has been great working with everyone in Tadika Cheebye.

Please kindly accept my resignation courteously, and pay me my final month salary the soonest possible. I have a family to support.

Yours sincerely,
R

(To be continued...)


Related posts:
Part 2
Part 3

Goodbye Manager, Hello Piranhas

I don't know about you, but to me, leaving a comfort zone to join a new company is as daunting as ordering me to sleep in a haunted castle. You don't know what is awaiting you ahead. And you don't know if you'll survive the night or not.

When I told my friends that I'm joining the Piranhas-infested company, everyone gave me 'The Look', "WHAT?! Are you a moron? The Piranhas in there are friggin' the ferocious can die!!!"

YES I DO KNOW that the Piranhas are cannibals but fuck it! Petrol is sexpensive and I need the money!

WOkay. Enough hint of my new work location...

I had a heart-to-heart talk with my reporting manager when I handed in my resignation letter a month ago. He remarked dryly, "Young people are like the Energizer battery, they never say die. I mean they don't know how to spell the word DIE."

"Ouch. Why say like that?" I winced.

"Have you heard of the Chinese proverb that goes, "Newborn calves are not afraid of the tigers"? It means the young and the clueless are not afraid to tread in the Piranha-infested waters because they have no idea how dangerous it is."

"Yeah." I nodded my head. Maybe the turnover rate in this company is so damn high that's why he needed someone to rant and lecture at. And me the unlucky target. Sigh...

Today don't know tomorrow's world. If I don't drink the Milo, who will drink the Milo?

"Young people nowadays don't know what is appreciation. They have no qualms leaving their company which has taught them everything from A to Z and made them the knowledgeable person that they are today." He continued to throw-school-bag at me.

"Ahem, well, some companies don't know how to appreciate their staff. That's why people leave." I replied tongue-in-cheek.

"Aiyo, cannot say like that one. Did the company not pay you your monthly salary to feed you, your dog, your parents, your spouse, and your hungry children (if you have any) at home?" He disapprovingly dismissed my satire.

If petrol can be replaced with water, the elephant can fly too.

"Of course YOU do! But... the opportunity to grow professionally, career advancement, and exposure are also very important factors to a baby calf like me. Or else how can I transform from a whiny little cow into a fucking loud BULL?" I retorted rather saccharinely.

"Are you not LOUD enough already?! Haihz..." Exasperation spread across his face and he continued, "That's why I said young people like you are unappreciative. Only talk about money and money only."

"What to do? My religion is $$$. Mom baptized me in $ungai Wang since the day I was born!" I annoyed him further.

He shooked his head slightly and drawled, "Wait till you are old like me, you'll feel the pinch. Especially when age is catching up and you have godzillions tiny little mouths to feed. Leaving the comfort zone is equivalent to asking myself to be thrown into the Piranha-infested waters. And attending interviews is like sending myself into the Lions' lair."

"Waaaah... Where got so scary like that one ah?" I protested in disbelief.

I damn like this machine. Can choose cold or hot Milo. But after a while, you'll get bored of it.
Coz it is the same taste all over again. Sienz. Can I have a can of Coke please?

"True one. Hear the word 'interview' the legs already start to shake violently like the leaves." He self-humoured and went on, "ANTIQUE like me has been staying in the top position for waaaay too long. And am forever the one interviewing others and no chance to be interviewed back. So when the roles are reversed, you say I sweat like a pig or not leh?"

"Yeah, I get what you mean. But no pain no gain my friend. Would you choose to stay in a position where you don't get to learn much + low stress + good pay, or one that you can get to learn a lot + high stress + very good pay?" I probed gently.

"If I'm still young, single, and have no family obligations, then I'll opt for a good pay + learn-a-lot job. Knowledge is power. But once you get married, your priorities will change. You'll prefer something more stable and routine. Something which gives you less headache, put food on the table, allow you more family time, and pay you well enough and beyond until the day you retire." He tried to brainwash me.

"There you go. You have said it yourself. If you are young and have no family obligations, you'll give it a shot too." I gave him a wink and a winning smile.

"Now don't you stop me for wanting to play in the Piranha-infested waters."

This place is neither Starbucks nor CoffeeBean, it's just a corner of the Piranhas-infested company's pantry that I have recently joined. Nice leh?

Two weeks later, I left my comfort zone and is now sexcitedly treading in the murky waters not just with the Piranhas, but with the sharks, and the crocodiles too. Good luck Titoki! ;)

What a cheebye dinner!

Ed note:
Oh fark, I feel old today! Don't even attempt to remind me of it.
Damn depressing can die. Sigh... How time flies.

So sorry for the lack of update. I had been super busy lately.

Little nephew I never knew existed. Good thing that he inherited the double eyelids.

Last weekend was my paternal grandma's burpday. So the whole Titoki clan were invited (by my cheebye aunt whom my grandma is staying with) to attend a family reunion dinner to celebrate grandma's burpday in a newly opened restaurant somewhere in the vicinity of KL.

There were 6 of us who went for the dinner. But we ended up paying RM1K for our meals (for the 6 of us). You must be wondering what the mountain-treasure-sea-creatures which my so-called relatives had ordered on our behalf.

You see, there were 4 tables in total. Around 46 people attended the dinner. But why the dinner so sexpensive one? Even if we have ordered an RM1K set meal per table, each person only needs to pay RM100 only wat. Why the heck our family needs to fork out RM1K for 6 people eating the dinner????!!!
Why do we need to pay so damn much one?!?!?!?!

Well, allow me to enlighten you the whole hoo-haa baa-waa saga.

1) One table costs at least RM899++. Excluding wine, tea, rice, & corkage fees.
2) Some kiasu brought their gf/bf/fiance/fiancee to attend the dinner too.
3) The daughters (aunties) don't need to pay. Only the sons (uncles) pay. Another word, all my aunts, their husbands, children, children's spouses, and their grandchildren, all eat FREE. Just because their surname is not LIEW.

MAHAI, I wonder who is the genius who came up with such a wonderful rule to calculate the dinner cost!!! That cunning cheebye needs to be spayed and then fed to the stray cats. Dad brought RM500 cash saje. Like you and me, he too thought that the dinner cost calculation will be based on headcount. Abuthen, how wrong we were. And your beloved Titoki had to dig her own wallet to cover the other half for her father. How filial and noble. Not nice way = SOHAI.

Hey friends, imagine this: One meal costs you RM500. Eat what fark exactly?

I also don't know. But it made me feel like one big lump of my meat is cut & gone liddat. Damn painful wei~ Even the Sultan and Emperor also belum makan sampai soooo ter-cheebye-lampau punya mahal like this.

I can assure you that there will be no next time again aitelyu. You will not see me eating with these cheebye relatives of mine from my dad's side in my life ever again. Or else, I'll change my surname to the BIG FAT KL-MALI PUNYA WATERFISH. No joke.

Thanks Anon for exposing my blog, now I've got the sponsorship from Potatocream.com! Heh~

I was shocked speechless on Sat evening when Gary dropped me a comment in my blog and replied my e-mail as follows:

I was very curious as to how he chanced upon my blog, so I asked him the 6-million-dollar question:

And he was kind enough to share the info with me and affirmed their sponsorship to me again:

Just in case if you are curious, here is a copy of the e-mail sent by Anon to Potatocream.com.

Dear Anon,

First of all, thank you soooo much for exposing my blog to Gary. I feel super-flattered that I carry so much weight in your heart for you to bother with my dusty-cum-almost-shelved-cum-long-forgotten blog.

As the saying goes, only feme people/bloggers have fans/admirers and haters/naysayers at the same time. (OMGWTFBBQ, mom, I'm STILL feme!)

Well, I had been shying away from the blogging limelight for a very very long time due to work commitment & personal life. While I thought most of my readers, haters, and fans-alike have already forgotten about me, but you Anon proved me wrong with a big big cross. I really can't thank you enough for proving and re-confirming my status, recognition, and worth in the blogging community today. ;p

At age 29 somemore. People still wanna read my crap and sponsor me. What more can I ask for? Not that I care about the readership nor the money. But I'm sincerely glad that I still command such peri-peri hot attention from readers like you.

You can be rest assured that you will see more of me soon (until you vomit blood & electricity nine days nine nights oso not enuff), as wished upon by you. And you shall not be disappointed. ;)

Love,
Titoki

A conversation between me and the "hau-fa-fa" Potato Cream CEO

I purchased some clothes from www.potatocream.com recently. And here is the conversation that took place between me and the sales-rep-cum-CEO-cum-support.

I sent an enquiry about the sleeve measurement shown in the displayed picture; whether it is the length or the diameter. And this is his reply:

Then I told him that I have banked in the money already.

So I gave him my office address.

And he hau-fa-fa replied me:

I wanted to find out when and where he'll send out the parcel.

Then he hau-fa-fa again.

Really beh tahan him.

Then on the next day, his butt itchy again.

My reply:

I thought my rejection was loud and clear. But it seemed like he is too thick-skinned to get it. Summore he got the nerve to ask if I have a blog or not.

Sudah ambil saya punya house add, office add, and now he wants my blog add. I can oso be very hau-fa-fa. Praise and step at the same time. Titoki-style. ;)

"Daughter" here means Gigi lah. Wakakakakaka~

While I thought he will back off geh, abuthen...

His persistency and good PR made me wanna cry mummy. No matter how bad you shoot 9 him, he still can wrestle and win an argument from you. Never say die one. Really gotto salute his skills and attitude. What an interesting chap.

Then I did a background search on his e-mail addy and found out that he is actually 30 years old and is married. But his mouth is still very the fa-fa to bluff mui-mui-jai online. Tsk tsk tsk. I sincerely hope that his wife doesn't blog nor read blogs. Or else, I bet he will sure die fugly. ;)

Now now, I'm having headache already thinking about how to come up with a good rebuttal to reply his e-mail. *shake her head*

A fuel-efficient Father's Day pressie for my daddy...

Dear Daddy,

In view of the fuel price hike that is crippling the country's economy and hurting everyone else's pocket, your beloved daughter Ms Titoki has no choice but to heed the Bodowi's advice to change her lifestyle to cope with the aftermath.

Instead of going out for an all-expense paid dinner by your beloved daughter in a posh-looking restaurant in town like the previous years, she will give you this digital image as a Father's Day pressie. (Save fuel, save money!)

Father's Day Love

As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words Ringgits. *winks*

Now now, you can stop whining about me loving mom more than you. Coz the pressie I am giving you is not just 'priceless', it is environmentally friendly, nature friendly, eco-friendly, recyclable, and fuel-efficient too. Tell me, who else lagi in the family can be so thoughtful like me? ;)

Last but not least, Happy Father's Day to you and hope you have a great one 'cyberly'!

Lots of Love,
Your stingy daughter Ms Titoki

P/S: Dad, count your blessings already. Gigi gave me a molehill of dog poo to clean & clear last Mother's Day.

---

Dear Titoki,

Thanks for the Father's Day pressie. It is so lovely. Only you can think of it. How thoughtful of you.

Your Digital Dinner

Oh btw, sweetie, here is your 'priceless', environmentally friendly, nature friendly, eco-friendly, recyclable, and fuel-efficient dinner which I had 'cyberly' prepared for you for tonight. Change lifestyle, remember?

Enjoy!

Lots of Love,
Your fuel-efficient Daddy

A conversation between three hot chicks...

One fine evening, I went to meet up with my gfs in Pavillion, and we started to yak about guys and stuff.

Ms Innocent: "You know, my bf doesn't really care whether I dress up or not. He's used to my current look already."

Ms Titoki: "Oh really? What about himself? Does he dress up?"

Ms Innocent: "Sometimes he can be quite dressy. It depends on the occasion."

Ms Sarcastic: "In that case, you gotto be careful liao girl. Guys who say they don't mind how their gfs look like are talking rubbish. All guys wanna be seen with hot sexy babes. You gotto watch out for that bf of yours. He could be the biggest liar of all time."

Ms Titoki: "Yeah, I agree with Ms Sarcastic. Unless he's gay, or else, he wouldn't wanna be seen with a Pasar Ah Soh by his side."

Ms Sarcastic: "That's why, as women, we need to maintain our body, and keep ourselves fit. Even if we are happily married, we still need to be careful and tactful when come to making ourselves presentable to our spouses. Because men are men. And all men love pretty things, especially when he has ego the size of a football field."

Ms Titoki: "Another word, love yourself first before you love others, or, before others will love you back."

Ms Innocent: "But..."

Ms Sarcastic: "Don't but. Imagine your bf sees beautiful people at work everyday but when he comes home, he sees you. And you look like a piece of shit. How would he feel?"

Ms Titoki: "A piece of shit. Hahaha. Ms Sarcastic you are so mean."

Ms Innocent: "If he loves me, he will accept the person I am."

Ms Sarcastic: "True. But please don't forget that guys age better than girls. And guys don't think with the head above their neck, they think with their dick head. Speaking of which, my fiancé has already promised me that if one day I grow chubby, he will pay for my Marie France treatment."

Ms Titoki: "Wakakakaka. Woman. You are so terror! I salute you."

Ms Innocent: "Wah lau eh~ Sai mm sai ah?"

*Roared with laughters*

Ms Sarcastic: "Hey biatches, I'm serious one..."

Ms Innocent: "Maybe there is some truth to what you girls have just said. Should really start to pamper myself from today onwards. Or else people will think that I'm his mother and not his gf. Ftw!"

*More hyena laughs*

Sometimes us women are a pity lot. We burn ourselves to light up the place and keep it warm for the others in the room. But who will burn for us? Similarly, if we don't love and/or take good care of ourselves, who will?

Titoki, how come you are not like me?

My mom has always complained, "Ah girl ar, I don't know who you resemble. You don't act, talk, and think like me and daddy at all. You are our daughter, but you are so totally unlike us."

And I'll reply her matter-of-factly, "Mama, I may look like you, walk like you, and even fart like you. But I'm totally different from you. I'm made up of half of your genes and daddy's genes. And in each of the half-genes-make-up portion you and daddy gave me, half of it comes from grandma, and the other half comes from grandpa. See? I'm so complex liddat how can I be like YOU only?" *evil grin*

She will go all silent.

I cannot remember how many gawdzillion times my mom had protested that I don't behave like her AT ALL although I'm her daughter. In her mind, by right and by law, I should be exactly like her in everything. Just because I'm her own flesh and blood.

But what she doesn't understand is that, even though she carried me for 9 months and 10 days and gave birth to me, as an independent Homo Sapien, I have my own mind, body, and brain.

Because of that, a lot of the times, we hurled hurtful words at each other to get what we want or expect from each other. But what we didn't realize is the fact that the pot is calling the kettle black, we are both as stubborn + difficult as each other. Like mother, like daughter. That's why we clashed like Juniper hitting Sapturn. We are actually very much alike than what we had assumed otherwise. Thus, the more we deviate, the more we converge. As the saying goes, the opposite attracts. LOL!

When I was growing up, my mom will tell her friends and relatives, "I'm going to do this and that for my mother (my grandma) now for my daughter (me) to see, so that the next time when she grows up, she'll do the same thing too for me."

That's my mom's expectation of me. I don't want to go into the details. But can you imagine the invisible pressure and burden on my shoulders since I was a little girl?

All I can say is that I have been put into the mindset to excel in life and perform my duties as a filial daughter since the day I was born. That is her way of teaching an obstinate child like me to appreciate the people, and the good and the bad in our lives.

And surprise, surprise, majiam fate has its way with destiny liddat, I'm living up slowly but surely to my mom's expectation as the obedient daughter she yearned me to become.

Have I turn mellow? Nope.

Have I have grown more mature and responsible? Nah, I don't think so.

Then why am I becoming sooo like my mother, in one way or another?

Must be the genes. *Hehe* Just kidding!

Well, I guess I have experienced life, just like how my mom had experienced hers. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel like the one she saw, and hear the tune of 'Que Sera Sera, What Will Be Will Be' like the one she heard. Just like what an old wise sifu will warn his protégé, "I have eaten more salt than you eat rice." And the master is forever right, so is mom. *winks*

This coming weekend, I'm bringing my mom out for dinner to celebrate Mother's Day with her. Just like how she will never fail to bring grandma out for Mother's Day dinner every year when grandma was still around – Though I hate to admit it, as it happens, I'm very much like my mom in many ways. I'm not married nor do I have any children. I'm not doing this because I feel obligated or I want people to follow my footsteps. I'm doing this for the simplest reason that she is my mother...

She who provides me with a good education for a better life, nurtures me to become a better citizen of the world, nurses me back to health when I am sick, cooks me meals when I feel hungry, guides me when I am lost, and she who accepts me back again and again when I'd gone astray.

But what have I done for you, my dear mother? I can never say "Thank You" enough!

Fcuk, I look like Lucy Lawless!

Me and my sis were playing a celebrity lookalike game online.

All you need to do is upload a mug shot of yourself. The system will compare your features with their celebrity pictures collection in the database, and then it will show you who do you resemble the most.

So I happy-happy uploaded my picture with the hope that maybe some part of me do actually look like a celebrity. Maybe the nose. Maybe the eyes. Maybe the bug tooth. La La Laaa~... I am a vainpot. Sue me.

Titoki: "Fuck. I look like Lucy Lawless."
Sister: "Yalor."
Titoki: "She is so ugly."
Sister: "Kekeke."

My sister uploaded her pic for comparison too.

And the following is the all-too-familiar classic sibling rivalry jabbing via MSN at its best...

Titoki: "Wah, you look like Lee Young-Ae ler."
Sister: "Why you want to look like Lee Young-Ae too? Not everyone can look like her one."
Titoki: "Lansi..."
Sister: "Luckily I dun have any ugly lookalike celeb."
Titoki: "Ya meh? You look like that Jet Li. And that Leslie Cheung too."

I ran another pic of her and it's DOUBLE confirmed that she looks like Jet Li and Leslie Cheung. LMAO!

Sister: "Jet Li is a guy. Cannot compare with guys one."
Titoki: "That says so much about you lah. Look like a guy. Wuahahaha."
Sister: "Go back 1st." <= Lost her argument. *lol*
Titoki: "See u later."

Then I ran Gigi’s pic to check who she resembles the most. I was expecting to see a picture of Lassie, you know, that celebrity dog from that famous American TV series. *winks*

Abuthen...

Gigi, I guess you are too ugly be to be reckoned with anyone dog in this world. I suppose you need to shave off your fur and eat more ginger flower first to look more like a human. ;) Wakakaka.

Ed note:
Arrrggh... I still haven’t done my tax filing yet. I’m so dead-ed. Lost my e-filing password summore. KNS lor. U sudah buat yours? I wonder if LHDN will extend the BE deadline for procrastinator like me. Man, I think they should lor, coz tax payors like you and me rule this country now, remember 8 Mar 2008? *Hehehe* Happy Tax Filing! ;)

Once upon a time there's a doctor called Dr Sanjay...

Ed note:
This is an old post of mine from my now-defunct + long-buried blog. I was having a conversation with Dr Bernard regarding dodgy doc the other day, and he enlightened me with the standard protocols that a doc can conduct on his/her patient. Hence, I would like to dedicate this post to him and to all my medical friends in the blogosphere. Enjoy.

I have had a bad case of diarrhoea since last night and I went to see the doctor this morning.

I stepped into Clinic A. Lucky me, it was empty. I thought that I don't have to wait long for my turn to come. But I was wrong. The doctor on duty was chatting amiably with 'someone' (presumably a pretty sweet-young-thing) in the consultation room. 40 minutes later, the conversation was still going strong. While the number of patients in the clinic was growing, my patience was shrinking. So I walked out of Clinic A and stepped into Clinic B.

It was my first time visiting Clinic B. There were already two patients waiting for their turns before my arrival but I don't have to wait long for my turn to come. 10 minutes later, my name was called. And I am impressed. The doctor on duty was Dr Sanjay (not real name).

Well, Sanjay is an Indian name, but when I stepped into the consultation room I saw a very young 'Chinese-looking' guy with a pair of sepet eyes. I thought I have entered the wrong room and when I was about to retreat...

Dr: "Good morning Ms Titoki? I am Dr Sanjay, please have a seat."

Me: "Good morning." *Proceed to sit down as told*

Dr: "How are you feeling?"

Me: "I have diarrhoea since last night."

Dr: "Let me see if you have fever too. I am going to put this into your ear to get your temperature, it won't hurt but you will feel a bit ticklish."

Me: "Okay." *Lean my ear forward*

Dr: "Hmmm... No fever. What did you eat last night?"

Me: "I had some Tom Yam soup and seafood for dinner."

Dr: "What kind of seafood did you eat?"

Me: "Prawns, oysters, bla bla bla..."

Dr: "It must be the oysters!!! Okay, how did you eat it?"

(Me in deep thoughts: "FTW. What kind of Q is that?!")

Me: "Well, I ate it raw with lemon juice."

Dr: "Where did you eat the oysters?"

Me: "Somewhere in Subang."

Dr: "Do you work in Subang?"

(Me in deep thoughts: "KNS. This question has nothing to do with my diarrhoea.")

Me: "NO." *With great annoyance*

Dr: "Ms Titoki, I need you to lie down on the bed as I need to check your tummy."

Me: *Walk over to bed and lie down*

Dr: "Can you open up your mouth?"

Me: *Open up my mouth*

Dr: "Eeeww, do you know that you have an ulcer on your tongue? Ms Titoki, you are very dry. You need to drink more liquids."

(Me in deep thoughts: "Of course I know I have an ulcer, dork. It hurts everytime I chew on my food. Duh. And me dry EXACTLY where. And what has my ulcer gotto do with my diarrhoea??!!")

Me: "Okay." *Nod my head*

Dr: "Now I am going to press on your tummy, if you feel any pain, please let me know."

Me: *Nod my head again*

Dr: "Do you feel any pain here?" *Randomly press east, west, centre, north, south on my tummy*

Me: "No."

Dr: "What about here?"

Me: "No."

Dr: "And here?" *Suddenly pressed super hard*

Me: "Ouch!!! That hurts."

(Me cursed under my breadth: "@$*&%$#!!!")

Dr: "When was your last period?"

Me: "HUH??!!"

(Me shocked and totally dumbstruck: "WHAT has my period gotto do with my diarrhoea NOW??!!")

Dr: "Can you remember the first day of your last period?"

Me: "Xth day of Mar." *With great annoyance*

Dr: "Ms Titoki, you can come down now."

Me: *Walk back to my seat*

Dr: "I am going to give you some salt, this and that... Avoid oily food like Laksa, Char Kuey Teow, etc etc. Don't drink coffee, juice, tea or milk. Take some rest and drink more water. You may go now Ms Titoki."

Me: "Okay, cheebye doc."

Dr: "Sorry?"

Me: "Oops, Did I slur? Must be the ulcer!" *Run for my life*

Tell me what kind of dodgy doc is that?! Supposed to be an Indian but look like a Chinese. Summore got the guts to question his/her patient where he/she works, how he/she eats her oysters, and the worst of all, told her that she is DRY?! WTF?!?!?!?!

If you are a nurse or a patient (waiting outside) and you overheard a conversation with phrases like, "Oysters, dry, open your mouth, ouch, that hurts, when was your last period, cheebye." What would you think of the situation? What would have crossed your mind?

Those who have got no-head-no-tail of the circumstances would assume that the two fellas inside sure got jalan one. Poor me. Reputation ruined. Image gone. Semua habis. This will definitely be my first and last visit to the clinic. There will be no more doctors called Sanjay for me. For the rest of my life.

Tell me I look good in my new haircut or else...

I think my current hairstyle is rather hideous, with fringes that look like a comb of coconut leaves dangling in front of my forehead.

I've been sporting this dreadful hairstyle since Gawd knows when.

And on Sat, I summoned up my courage to see the barber... somewhere in Setapak's Kenny Roger's area with my best friend who just came back from Hong Kong for a short break.

This place is highly recommended by ALL of my friends. The guy who cut my hair is called He-man. I wonder if Hercules, Xena, and She-ra work there too. ;)

Anyhow, it's time to say goodbye to my lovely silky black mane. One last look. And one last photo shoot. Making the decision to have a new hairstyle is so much difficult than saying goodbye to a lover. Sigh.

He-man suggested that instead of having fringes that start from the hairline, the fringes should start from the inside, i.e., deeper inside & away from the hairline. It will give the person a younger look and it's the in-trend now to have an inner layer of fringes that flow from the centre to the side. Just like this Taiwanese idol Joe Cheng...

You tell me how can a guy looks so cute liddat until he looks like a girl one...

I turned to He-man, pierced through his eyes and I said somberly to him with a serious people-dying kindda tone, "My hair is in your hands now. Please do you very best to take good care of it." And he laughed. Like a hyena.

He-man is very kind. He didn't chop off my hair just like that.

Coz he said, as a guy, he still thinks that girls with long hair are forever more attractive than girls with short hair. And he also commented that if the changes are too great, all my prospective bfSsss will be scared away already. Wakakakakaka. He damn funny can die lah.

Before cutting looks like Ah Lian, after cutting becomes Arliana... ;)

So I get to keep my long hair but with a different style...

What's your verdict?

I heart my new hairstyle.

Tell me I look pretty or else I won't tell you where you can eat this yummilicious seafood noodles in the Klang Valley. *winks*

Slurrrp... Slurrrp... Slurrrp...

Mama, I need some Pomelo leaves to wash my eyes!

Imagine yourself is Cecilia or maybe Gillian, a ci-pek (Cina Pek) comes up to you, looks you up and down with humsup interest, smirks, and then says, "Hi darling, I'm a big fan of yours."

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww. WUuuweeeEAk. Yuck. Ptui.

So gross liddat can die.

Even if you die and reborn 100 million times also not enough aitelyu...

Because...

Your multi-million-dollar image which takes you years to build only takes you seconds to destroy.

You won't be remembered for the number of golden horses or melodies which you have won or achieved over the years. Instead, you'll be remembered as the actress who bared it all for the world to see that furry pet living down there in your pants.

And friend, you are sooo totally game over for this life and the next one too.

Seriously, how can you still smile, joke, pretend, and face a bunch of people, fans, family members, friends, future bfs/husbands, bosses, strangers, ci-peks alike who have downloaded + zoomed in + viewed + shared + discussed your private parts in public forums like nothing has ever happened?

Not to mention the products that you have endorsed or is going to endorse in the near future. Everytime people look at you or your face, they'll be reminded of some hairy black spiders from Down Under. And everytime you look back at them or their faces, you'll be reminded of your own shame and their disappointment in you.

It will never be the same again. (Darn. You should have shaved or trimmed or even handcuffed that black bugger in the very first place!) ;pPPppPppp

And guessed what, after this incident, you have successfully made internationally-renowned actress Shu Qi, who rose to stardom from filming porn, looks pure and angelic now. At least, she had never faked her innocence and morality since joining the industry. And the good thing is that she trimmed. I feel so guilty now for judging and disapproving of her then.

Life is so unfair. Guys who screw around are called studs, while girls who sleep around are called sluts. Women who fall for prey for smooth-talking Leng Jais are idiots with pea-sized brains. While women who let guys film/photograph them naked + FREE of charge have no brains at all.

I wonder if everyone involved has STD now. God bless HK and everyone who got screwed inside out and upside down by this guy. Amen.

P/S: Year 2008 is definitely not a dull one!

Love is not for the faint-hearted...

Me: Hello Peter.

PT: Nose bleeding.

Me: What's wrong with your nose????

Me: Too much CSL's sex DVD? LOL

PT: Your profile photo is too hot. CSL made me fall asleep.

Me: Yours hotter. My colleague asked who is the Leng Jai on my screen. I told them you are Nicolas Tse's brother.

PT: Mine got no longkang.

Me: No worries. Mine is KLIA's back-up runway.

PT: Me no more Leng Jai... Uncle liao.

Me: LOL... Uncle also got Leng Jai one.

PT: Uncle Chua Leng Jai or not?

Me: That one is Grandfather. All grandfathers are old and wrinkly.

PT: Hehe.

Me: I have a question. How would a guy feel/think if a girl asks him out for a movie?

PT: Why not?

Me: Will he think the girl is 'cheap' as in she's ASKING him out instead of the other way round?

PT: No lar. Unless the guy likes to think a lot. Or have fantasies with u.

Me: Sure or not. I just want to ask him out as friends only. How should I approach him and not make him feels and thinks otherwise. You know lah. Some guys have ego bigger than their errr... hmm... CARS. LOL

PT: Try this... "Hey... you know this movie 'Batu Pahat Love, Lust & Lost' is currently being screened at GSC... I was wondering if u wanna watch it with me this Saturday?"

Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAA. That's a good one.

PT: So easy kan?

Me: Yep yep yep.

PT: When the baby full moon comes, dun forget to give me the full moon stuff ya.

Me: Waaaa... Where got so fast one?! Keep your fingers crossed lah. Hahaha.

PT: That's why you must go somewhere romantic for dinner. Set the mood. Make babies. So I can expect something in 9 months time.

Me: No need 9 months. End of August got red eggs and ginger eat liao. I'll make him drunk, strip him, film him, and then blackmail him.

PT: If he is rich lar.

Me: Like that must wait another 20 years. Now he's still a Dar Gong Jai. LOL

PT: Unless wanna blackmail him to be your sex slave.

Me: If sex slave only, he untung. He needs to wash, cook, iron, and entertain me oso. Ngaaam mou?

PT: Errr... He or u untung????

Me: Once he kena conned, he has no choice liao.

PT: Good luck. And if he still virgin dun forget to give Ang Pau ya.

Me: WAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKA.

PT: Just remember this... Faint heart will never win any love or something liddat.

Me: Wah. So deep. But upside down liao. Love is not for the faint-hearted lah. ;)

PT: ...

Ed note:
Full moon or no full moon. Dating or no dating. Untung or no untung. There is a Chinese saying goes, "男追女隔层山，女追男隔层纱", which means, guy pursues girl is as tough as being separated by mountains. While girl pursues guy is like being obstructed by a lacey curtain only.

Should a girl hold her 矜持 (geng chee) when comes to dating? Is it wise for her to initiate a date and show her interest towards the guy she likes?

Or, she should stay 'traditional' like a good old Chinese nun and wait and wait and wait like foreeeeever... for the guy to make his first move? What say you?

Can you find a best friend in your workplace?

I guess not. Unless the said person's role has no conflict with yours. Or else, it'll be super difficult to befriend with someone who is above or under you, i.e., your superior or subordinate. Friendship is likely to blossom only after you have left the company.

The reason being is that, if you are too close with your superior, you'll be mistaken as a shoe-shine girl/boy. On the other hand, if you are too close with your subordinates, your friendship will be taken for granted. Distance should always be kept and maintained within and between the hierarchies.

Then what about the people who are on the same level or same rank as you? You asked.

Still cannot. Because of work-related competition. It's either you or him will be promoted if opportunity arises. With such fierce contention, it's difficult to keep level-headed over the smallest of things. Both of you will aim to rise to the top no matter what. Disagreement and conflict will and can ensue easily. You think you are the best and he thinks he is the best. You think your idea is good and he thinks his idea is better. You think red is lovely and he thinks green is pleasant. When will it end?

Well, there is, however, a way around it. It might not be the best solution. But still, it's a solution. *winks*

Fake it. Fake the friendship. Fake the agreement. Fake the nice-ness. Fake everything if you can. Cunning colleague will not hesitate to come forth with a proposal that since the both of you are colleagues, you two should not commit ghost-fight-ghost internally. Instead, you two should cooperate to cover each other's ass to look good in front of your boss. So that your stupid boss will not suspect something is amiss.

Consider this:

How many bosses in this world will like to see their own staff busy bickering at each other and neglect their assigned work?

Those who started the fight will be seen as the trouble-maker. And the trouble-maker cannot stay. That's the grandfather rule of thumb in Management 101. You must not forget that you are hired to contribute and not make things worse by taking the team apart.

Thus the best way to remain competitive yet not being seen as an overtly aggressive person is, act blur. Pretend-pig-eat-tiger. And do not get yourself involve in any gossiping. Even if you find yourself stuck with the kepohchis stabbing people left and right in the pantry, just keep smiling, nodding, quickly finish off your food, and leave.

Your unintentional remark here and there might be used as a weapon by the gossipers to attack others and yourself back one fine day. When that happens, you'll become the victim and also the villain in the office everyone loathes. As the Chinese saying goes, 病从口入，祸从口出 , which means, illness comes in via the mouth because of food, and trouble goes out via the mouth because of words.

Life is tough. And no one is virginal anymore once they have joined the rat race. Because office politics fcuk everyone. Therefore, cooperate with your rival if you must. Pretend to be humble and subservient too. You 'use' I and I 'use' you only. Just like those baddies in the movie, you don't know how crooked and despicable they can be until you have been used, betrayed, and stabbed (from the back of course).

So, my dear friend, to survive in this dog-eat-dog world, you have gotto be a baddie. People will not shed tears when you die. People will not pity you when you are broke. People will not slow down when you are stationary. People are people. And, people DON'T CARE. Enuff said.

The Child's Slave Vs. The Corporate's Slave

It's funny to meet up with your old school mates after years apart.

People who were ambitious, bright, and brainy back in the old days or who you would assume will be a corporate climber TODAY are married and already have kids.

People who were average achievers back in the old days or who you would assume will get married first have now become successful corporate climbers in renowned firms and some even run their own businesses.

Life is indeed strange. Fate is a joker. And Luck is never loyal.

Nonetheless, the most notable change in our group of friends is that, the ugly ducklings have grown into beautiful swans. While those beautiful ducks back in the old school days have now turned into Jurassic Platypus, the opposite.

The reason being is that, BEAUTIFUL hot-blooded YOUNG people tend to overDooo on things. For instance, over-make babieSss mistakeSss EARLY in life out of curiosity. *winks*

'Average' people

While average-in-everything punya people like you and me tend to achieve things averagely. Average people do not overdo, overdressed, over-killed, or even over-achieved. We are pretty stable and average like the pond water without any ripple. Even our bank accounts also display very 'average' savings only. ;)

Average people also stay young longer age averagely when compared with our 'counterparts' - those 'over-achievers' who have to scream their lungs out to discipline their 'over-active' monkeys.

Thus why, the human race has totally evolved into two very different species: The Swan and the Platypus. Or rather, the Child's Slave and the Corporate's Slave.

You see, my dear friend, Time is a heartless bastard. It will not hesitate to mark its footprints and its presence on our face and profile. The more you experience life, the older you look. Nuff said.

And as for this post, I really don't know what prompted me to write it. Maybe it's the cute guy that I had a crush on or secretly admired back in the old days... Abuthen who looks like an Ah Pek now with balding hairline and beer gut that ignited the passion for this post. (I feel heartbroken.)

Or maybe it's the super hot chick who was super hot and chuen back in the old days... Abuthen who looks like a Pasar Ah Soh now with greasy hair and dress like my mother that triggered my waterfall-ranting button. Muahahahahaha. (I feel overjoyed).

To make the long story short, i.e., to give you a clear and precise idea of my shaken-but-not-stirred punya emotions...

It is like watching that favorite red car from your neighborhood vrooomed past your house during your teen days but you never get the chance to properly check it out until recently... And now that you did, you realized that it is NOT the Red Ferrari which you had wildly indulged in and/or imagined. Instead it's just an average 1000cc Red MyVi which you can find in anyone's punya backyard.

While the Mini Cooper Perodua Kelisa which you never pay any attention in your life is actually a modified Lamborghini in disguise! *GASP*

Get the idea?

The Cipet Vet

Gigi yelped when I picked her up from the floor the other day. Initially, we thought that she had a cramp from her afternoon nap and we didn't pay much attention to it. But last night her pain aggravated. She even bit my sister when she tried to carry her into the living room.

According to my maid, this is what happened to Gigi the day before:

"Gigi was peeing at the front porch and saw a few large dogs passed by. She got so scared that she squeezed herself back into the house through the door gap and hurt herself in the process."

There is no injury on the surface. So it could be internal. We needed an expert's advice to identify and verify the root cause of her pain. I looked at the time. 8.49 P.M. The Vet that Gigi usually visits had already closed for the day. We had to seek advice from another Vet a few blocks down the street, a middle-aged man who smelled like curry spices. And it was also our first time and the LAST time stepping into his clinic. Read on peeps...

Vet: "What happened to your puppy?"

Me: "She is in pain. I think her front limb on the left is injured."

*He proceeded to squeeze and massage Gigi's limbs for reaction*

Vet: "There is a crack in her bone area here."

*He pointed at Gigi's front 'wrist' joint*

Me: "Is it serious? Does she need to be X-rayed? Does she need any surgery?"

Vet: "No. It is just a crack. Since she is a puppy, her bone still grows. It will heal itself in two weeks time. Just let her have enough rest during the recuperation period."

Me: "So what's the treatment for cases like this? Does she need to take any medication?"

Vet: "I'll give her an injection now and she can take some Antibiotics."

Me: "Injection? Is it for her to sleep better? Relieve her pain? Or it is just Antibiotics?"

Vet: "Are you doubting my ability to treat?! I have 27 years of experience in Veterinary I tell you! You CANNOT question my treatment method!!! I said she takes injection means she takes injection!"

*He became jumpy and agitated*

Me: "But what is the injection for? Is it safe for her to take the injection? She is only a puppy."

*I'm adamant that as a patient and owner of my puppy, I have the right to know what kind of injection my dog is getting, I have the right to question the pills my dog is taking, and I have every damn right to find out more on the medical treatment my dog is receiving. Even more so when she is only a puppy*

Vet: "Hey Missy, just bring your dog out of here! I don't want to treat her anymore! Go and pay my RM 20 consultation fees at the counter and leave!!!"

*He dropped Gigi onto the table callously and started to walk out of the room*

Me: "Why are you so cruel and rude? I'm only asking what kind of injection my dog is getting from you. And you can't even answer me that. How can I entrust her into your hands?"

Vet: "Bla bla bla... Don't want to treat your dog... Yadda yadda... Just pay me my RM 20... Bla bla bla... And get out of here!"

*He kept on mumbling and grumbling hysterically like a castrated wild boar who can no longer mate and reproduce*

I shook my head in dismay. Then I turned to my dazed sister (with an enquiring look on my face) for advice. She shook her head slightly in response. I had her answer through our telepathic conversation.

Together we gathered our strength, picked up Gigi from the table, threw the RM 20 consultation fees in his LJ face, and walked out of his CB clinic FOREVER-EVER.

Back in the car, sis commented, "What kind of Vet is that?"

"I don't know. A screwed-up one I guess. Or maybe his wife got period last night. And he had to self-service. That's why." I winked at her and we laughed like hyenas.

The good thing is that Gigi still eats, sleeps, pees, shits, plays, and runs amok inside and outside the house like normal. Just that we have to be extremely careful when we pick her up from the floor; to avoid contact with her injured limb. And she is doing very well. To be safe, we are bringing her to visit her regular Vet this weekend. Let's pray for her speedy recovery.

Today don't know tomorrow's world

Most of us girls want to get married. (Yes, we do.) To a good man. Build a family together and have two adorable kids to call us mummy.

The problem is that all good men in this world are already taken. The 'leftover' are drunkards, gamblers, womanizers, Ah Kuas, and gays.

Sometimes it's not that we girls want to jual mahal. It is because we don't want to lelong ourselves away to any Ah Dog, Ah Cat, Ah Cow, or Ah Pig on the streets. There are so many women out there who rather slave their day, night, and beauty away to earn money than to get married and be miserable.

"Money cannot buy you happiness", you digressed. Abuthen, my dear friend, there is also a saying which goes, "Money will definitely NOT bring you any heartaches".

Get married we want. But not to someone who is 'under par'. Most half-baked innocent girls will assume that after getting married, life will be rosy. A loving husband and two cute babies. Like 'Snow White' like that. Good ending.

But in reality, life sucks. Money woe is always the root of all evil. Wait till you have a husband who doesn't earn enough, two hungry babies to feed, never-ending housework at home, and a mother-in-law who likes to interfere and nag from A to Z. Then you'll know how to spell the word 'HELL'.

Most people will think that the older a woman gets, her criteria of men will become lower. But no, it is not like that at all especially when she is an independent + self-sufficient corporate climber.

90% of the time, these women had experienced a bad relationship (or two) before. And they have learned from their mistakes and become 'smarter' or perhaps 'sinister' when comes to choosing a prospective lifetime partner again.

Girlfriend A said, "My bf drives a Beemer and he is a senior staff in XYZ corp."

We girls cheered, "Cool."

Girlfriend B said, "My bf drives a Beemer, he works in JKL corp., he owns an apartment, and he doesn't live with his parents."

We girls applauded, "Good on you!"

Girlfriend C said, "My bf drives a Porsche, he runs his own businesseSss, he owns an apartment in KL and two houses in overseas, he is also a permanent resident in country A, he doesn't live with his rich parents, he has no siblings, and he doesn't have any loans!"

We girls roared and died-ed with envy, "You lucky Biaaatch!"

Not everyone is as lucky as girlfriend C. But you get the drill. If you are a girl, beautiful and single, then comes a 'prince' on a white horse to sweep your feet away from the tiring corporate climb-cum-catfight, will you not die-die also want to marry him or even agreed to become his mistress?

Or will you still choose to die old, lonely, and get finished off by the rodents?

For me, at this moment, I just want to bury my head under the sand. Too much truth and thinking can die. Today don't know tomorrow's world.

Dating Titoki is not for the faint-hearted!

Nowadays the in-thing about dating is:

TOUCHING YOUR DATE BOLDLY AND LEGALLY.

Your beloved Ms Titoki has been 'molested' so many times that she is seriously considering staying celibate for the rest of her life.

This is how it goes...

First, he will guide you to walk straight to the place you guys want to go together.

Then he will abruptly turn and tell you that the exit door is on your right and not the one ahead. So the both of you will have to stop in your track (suddenly may I add) to get the bearing right, bodies turn and move towards the right direction again.

BUT...

In that split second of 'lost', head-scratching, body-turning, dazed and in a wide-eyed confused state, he'll (suddenly AGAIN may I add) move forward from behind, arms ready to hold you from the back and make the bump-cum-catch-you action seems like a gentleman + reasonable thing that is bound to 'happen'.

That's how your beloved Ms Titoki has been 'tricked' into the arms of many many many men time and time again.

Damn it.

Now think of it, it's really KNNCCBNIAMAHFULATNIAPAHJIALAT aitelyu.

Why you men so cheapskate one?! Can't you be courageous enough to ask for my hands directly in my face?! Huh? Huh? Huh?

Stupid monkey act. Feed you lizards' droppings. Squirt cow's milk on your face. Burn your pubic hair. Dig my nose shit and drop it into your drink when you are not looking!