Top 10 Male Chauvinistic Pig's Characteristics
I am constantly surrounded by MCPs. And all of these MCPs have given me the opportunity to study and group them into the following categories:
1. The ONLY-ME group
Background:
The only son in the family, a good-looking one too. He thinks he is the king. When he says sit, you cannot stand. When he says shit, you cannot pee. They are the worst kind of MCPs.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Once you have become my wife, you have to obey and follow me. When I say go east, you must go east. When I say go west, you must go west."
2. The MOM-ME group
Background:
The only son in the family. Mother and son are very close. The mother is the culprit behind the cultivation of this kind of MCP. Even when he has grown up, he still wants to suck his mom's tits. Mom is the best thing in the world because mom bows to him. And he demands his gf/wife to serve him the exact same way his mom had served him.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"I want to eat boneless fish and breast meat only!"
3. The FA-ME-LY group
Background:
Rich and he likes to be perceived as a filial person. He is grandma's favourite grandson. Usually he is the first product of the eldest son. The grandma spoils him rotten because he is the family's pride. He wants the moon, he gets the moon. He wants the star, he gets the star.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"You are MY woman and you MUST produce a son for me!!!"
4. The HANG-OVER-ME group
Background:
Eldest or middle child. Attention-deficit and over-confident. Always think that he is more capable and more handsome than his siblings. Always think that he is irresistible to all the women out there. Always think that he is in control of everything in life (from wife, female acquaintances, business to career). But in reality, he isn't.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"I am meeting a 'client' tonight. Don't wait up for me."
5. The CORRECT-ME group
Background:
He likes to judge and criticise. He is always the Mr Right, and you are always the Mrs/Ms Wrong. He likes to put you down, but you can never ever put him down, especially in front of his friends and family. His 'face' is the most important thing in the world to him, not you.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Why are you so stupid one?! Simple thing liddat oso you cannot do!!!"
6. The NEVER-ME-SORRY group
Background:
He is mean, rude and sarcastic. He will never apologise to you, no matter how wrong he is. But you must apologise to him every now and then for every tiny little thing or offence which you have unwittingly committed.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Why do you shed so many hairs one? You are a dog ar?!"
7. The SUPPORT-ME group
Background:
He comes from a big and not so well-to-do family. The money he earns is only enough to cover his own arse. The money you earn is to be used for the whole family's expenses. He is all sweet and saccharine when you have the money or when he is in a good mood. But when you don't have a penny in your pocket or when he is in a bad mood, he will abuse you left, right and centre. The worst part is he never sees that it is his duty and responsibility to support the family, but yours.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Hey, give me the money to buy the milk powder for the baby!"
8. The THANK-ME group
Background:
He is an average income earner. Very arrogant. The gf/wife has to submit to him, i.e., bow and kiss his hand and not the other way round. Every single penny that he gives to you is silently calculated in his mind to ensure that it is every penny well spent. The effort you put in to take care of him and the family must be equal to the money he gives to you. And yes, saying thank you to him is a must.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Don't forget that it's ME who gives you the money for the car!!!"
9. The ME-A-COWARD group
Background:
The baby of the family. He does not own up to his own mistakes. He pushes you to the frontline to fight the war for him. He shies away from any decision-makings and he shirks his familial responsibilities. If anything happens, it is you who kena, and not him.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"The phone bill is not under my name. It is under your name!!!"
10. The ME-BUTT-ITCHY group
Background:
All ages. All sizes. All ethnic groups. All like to read TITOKI'S SECRET DIARY clandestinely and faithfully. Know for a fact that TITOKI is a joker but he still wants to ask, "Why you say and act liddat one? So emo!!!"
Attitude towards TITOKI:
"Hey my gf/wife is 34C!!! Yours is only 32B ar?! Wakakakaka!!!"
That's why I purposely wrote this piece here for people like you to read.
And there is no prize for guessing which MCP group you are in.
Ed note: I dare you to comment on this post!!!
Related post:
OUCH. OUCH. My Lychee boobs.
1. The ONLY-ME group
Background:
The only son in the family, a good-looking one too. He thinks he is the king. When he says sit, you cannot stand. When he says shit, you cannot pee. They are the worst kind of MCPs.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Once you have become my wife, you have to obey and follow me. When I say go east, you must go east. When I say go west, you must go west."
2. The MOM-ME group
Background:
The only son in the family. Mother and son are very close. The mother is the culprit behind the cultivation of this kind of MCP. Even when he has grown up, he still wants to suck his mom's tits. Mom is the best thing in the world because mom bows to him. And he demands his gf/wife to serve him the exact same way his mom had served him.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"I want to eat boneless fish and breast meat only!"
3. The FA-ME-LY group
Background:
Rich and he likes to be perceived as a filial person. He is grandma's favourite grandson. Usually he is the first product of the eldest son. The grandma spoils him rotten because he is the family's pride. He wants the moon, he gets the moon. He wants the star, he gets the star.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"You are MY woman and you MUST produce a son for me!!!"
4. The HANG-OVER-ME group
Background:
Eldest or middle child. Attention-deficit and over-confident. Always think that he is more capable and more handsome than his siblings. Always think that he is irresistible to all the women out there. Always think that he is in control of everything in life (from wife, female acquaintances, business to career). But in reality, he isn't.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"I am meeting a 'client' tonight. Don't wait up for me."
5. The CORRECT-ME group
Background:
He likes to judge and criticise. He is always the Mr Right, and you are always the Mrs/Ms Wrong. He likes to put you down, but you can never ever put him down, especially in front of his friends and family. His 'face' is the most important thing in the world to him, not you.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Why are you so stupid one?! Simple thing liddat oso you cannot do!!!"
6. The NEVER-ME-SORRY group
Background:
He is mean, rude and sarcastic. He will never apologise to you, no matter how wrong he is. But you must apologise to him every now and then for every tiny little thing or offence which you have unwittingly committed.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Why do you shed so many hairs one? You are a dog ar?!"
7. The SUPPORT-ME group
Background:
He comes from a big and not so well-to-do family. The money he earns is only enough to cover his own arse. The money you earn is to be used for the whole family's expenses. He is all sweet and saccharine when you have the money or when he is in a good mood. But when you don't have a penny in your pocket or when he is in a bad mood, he will abuse you left, right and centre. The worst part is he never sees that it is his duty and responsibility to support the family, but yours.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Hey, give me the money to buy the milk powder for the baby!"
8. The THANK-ME group
Background:
He is an average income earner. Very arrogant. The gf/wife has to submit to him, i.e., bow and kiss his hand and not the other way round. Every single penny that he gives to you is silently calculated in his mind to ensure that it is every penny well spent. The effort you put in to take care of him and the family must be equal to the money he gives to you. And yes, saying thank you to him is a must.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"Don't forget that it's ME who gives you the money for the car!!!"
9. The ME-A-COWARD group
Background:
The baby of the family. He does not own up to his own mistakes. He pushes you to the frontline to fight the war for him. He shies away from any decision-makings and he shirks his familial responsibilities. If anything happens, it is you who kena, and not him.
Attitude towards gf/wife:
"The phone bill is not under my name. It is under your name!!!"
10. The ME-BUTT-ITCHY group
Background:
All ages. All sizes. All ethnic groups. All like to read TITOKI'S SECRET DIARY clandestinely and faithfully. Know for a fact that TITOKI is a joker but he still wants to ask, "Why you say and act liddat one? So emo!!!"
Attitude towards TITOKI:
"Hey my gf/wife is 34C!!! Yours is only 32B ar?! Wakakakaka!!!"
KNN-MCH-STOOPID-CHU-TAU-BENG-YOU!!!
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That's why I purposely wrote this piece here for people like you to read.
And there is no prize for guessing which MCP group you are in.
*TITOKI sneers at you*
Ed note: I dare you to comment on this post!!!
Related post:
OUCH. OUCH. My Lychee boobs.
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