Do you fit the bill?
Uncle Cocka said this to me the other day,
"No need to look so hard for Mr. Right la... He'll appear when the right time comes. What's your idea of an ideal guy by the way? See if I know someone who fits the bill."
I replied to him,
"My ideal guy?! Anyone with the opposite traits of yours will do!!! Muahahahahahhaa."
He is not the first concerned friend/uncle/kepoh who asked me this kind of awkward questions. And I will usually do my best to dodge them if possible. That's because I have never really think about my requirements nor have I have any answers to your questions. But I can however tell you...
THE KIND OF GUYS THAT I WON'T CONSIDER TO DATE AT ALL!!!
1. Liars (Dai Waa Jeng!)
Never ever lie to me. The foundation of a relationship is based on trust and honesty. I never like the song "London Bridge is falling down" because covering up a manmade KNOWN error is the worst kind of terrorism.
2. Rumour-monger (Sei 8 gong!)
I don't know why but I just despise nosey & gossipy people. If you are a person who likes to invent news or make a hoo-hah out of nothing, you can go fuck your own anus.
3. Don Juan (Faa Sum or have more gfs than me!)
I am a loyal gf. And I also demand absolute loyalty from my bf too. No ifs. No buts. No elses. It's a must.
4. Indecisive (Mou Chu Yee!)
If you are not able to think on your own two feet or make up your mind on what you want and/or don't want, then you should stay in your mom's embrace for the rest of your life. I don't baby-sit.
5. Calculative (Suen Sei Chou!)
Don't hold your purse too tight. Don't compare too much. Don't measure Love. It will bring misery to you only. Be a little bit more big-hearted, and you will hear laughter.
6. Doesn't speak any English (Mm sek Ying Mun!)
I mean you must at least know how to say "I love you" to me on Valentine's Day!
7. Anti-social and secretive
(Goo Sarng Duk Sei + Gwai Gwai Xu Xu!)
A person who always locks himself up in his own room and cut himself off from any communication with the outside world is a weirdo. I'd rather fuck a wall than to talk to you.
8. Small-gas (Siu hei!)
I won't date any person who gets agitated or angry easily over trivial things. It's so un-gentleman. If I know you are like that, I'll buy you a handbag, a skirt, a bra and two oranges for your birthday.
9. Rude and has no respect (Mou lai mau!)
I don't F'N date any-F'N-one who starts every F'N sentence with a F'N swear word in the F'N front and then ends each and every F'N sentence with a F'N swear word in the F'N back too. It's really F'N annoying aitelyu.
10. Don't laugh at me, but you can laugh with me. :)
(Lei mm hor yee siu ngo butt kor lei ho yee tung ngo yat chai siu!)
So, do you fit the bill? ;)
"No need to look so hard for Mr. Right la... He'll appear when the right time comes. What's your idea of an ideal guy by the way? See if I know someone who fits the bill."
I replied to him,
"My ideal guy?! Anyone with the opposite traits of yours will do!!! Muahahahahahhaa."
He is not the first concerned friend/uncle/kepoh who asked me this kind of awkward questions. And I will usually do my best to dodge them if possible. That's because I have never really think about my requirements nor have I have any answers to your questions. But I can however tell you...
THE KIND OF GUYS THAT I WON'T CONSIDER TO DATE AT ALL!!!
1. Liars (Dai Waa Jeng!)
Never ever lie to me. The foundation of a relationship is based on trust and honesty. I never like the song "London Bridge is falling down" because covering up a manmade KNOWN error is the worst kind of terrorism.
2. Rumour-monger (Sei 8 gong!)
I don't know why but I just despise nosey & gossipy people. If you are a person who likes to invent news or make a hoo-hah out of nothing, you can go fuck your own anus.
3. Don Juan (Faa Sum or have more gfs than me!)
I am a loyal gf. And I also demand absolute loyalty from my bf too. No ifs. No buts. No elses. It's a must.
4. Indecisive (Mou Chu Yee!)
If you are not able to think on your own two feet or make up your mind on what you want and/or don't want, then you should stay in your mom's embrace for the rest of your life. I don't baby-sit.
5. Calculative (Suen Sei Chou!)
Don't hold your purse too tight. Don't compare too much. Don't measure Love. It will bring misery to you only. Be a little bit more big-hearted, and you will hear laughter.
6. Doesn't speak any English (Mm sek Ying Mun!)
I mean you must at least know how to say "I love you" to me on Valentine's Day!
7. Anti-social and secretive
(Goo Sarng Duk Sei + Gwai Gwai Xu Xu!)
A person who always locks himself up in his own room and cut himself off from any communication with the outside world is a weirdo. I'd rather fuck a wall than to talk to you.
8. Small-gas (Siu hei!)
I won't date any person who gets agitated or angry easily over trivial things. It's so un-gentleman. If I know you are like that, I'll buy you a handbag, a skirt, a bra and two oranges for your birthday.
9. Rude and has no respect (Mou lai mau!)
I don't F'N date any-F'N-one who starts every F'N sentence with a F'N swear word in the F'N front and then ends each and every F'N sentence with a F'N swear word in the F'N back too. It's really F'N annoying aitelyu.
10. Don't laugh at me, but you can laugh with me. :)
(Lei mm hor yee siu ngo butt kor lei ho yee tung ngo yat chai siu!)
So, do you fit the bill? ;)
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