Shitty Monday
I seriously absolutely fucking hate Mondays. It’s always the busiest day of the week. All the disastrous problems have the tendency to find its way to happen on Monday to make my piteous life miserable.
There are so many days in the week, i.e., Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday but why all the shit choose to come out on Monday only? Is this some sort of conspiracy or something?
And on Monday, some people i.e., my colleagues, love to take leave to make their weekend longer so that they can be a bum and laze at home for just that tad bit longer. FYI, it’s just only 24 hours extra to be exact.
Seriously my friends, sleeping too much is going to break your brittle bones and make you fat like that moronic whiny pussy cat called Garfield.
And because of your nonchalant attitude, your toilet bowl has finally decided to spew shit today. I have no choice but to go down and do the dirty work for you by myself with my own bare hands, which is totally and ridiculously insane especially when I don’t have your lanjiao key to open the shitty toilet door to clean up the mess for you. Not to mention the accompanying stinking shit that comes with it.
I can only watch & wait with abated breadth, and, wait & watch the amazingly humongous shit to grow and terrorise our comfort zone just because your phone has decided to power off due to PERIOD???!!!
DIE DIE DIE already you penis-shrunken TOAD!!! Go & buy some tampons for your bloody phone now!
*Slap and kick the stupid GARFIELD’s groin*
*Pull the big fat GARFIELD’s tresses until it’s bald and patchy*
*Fry the hairless GARFIELD in a pot of hot boiling oil*
*Put the oily GARFIELD meat onto the dinner table for you to eat tonight*
The worst part is my boss has the habit to hibernate in his lair when shits overflow. And he expects me to be Harry Potter, raise my wand and everything will go back to normal again.
ARrrrrrrrrgggggggggGGGGGGHHHHHHhhhhh!!!
WHERE IN MY RESUME THAT SAYS I GRADUATE FROM Hogwarts the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry???!!!!! HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!
WHEN DID YOU SEE THAT I OWN A WAND AND KNOW HOW TO TURN A TOAD INTO A GARFIELD???!!!!! HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!
If I do have a wand and know magic, do you think I would still be here cleaning your maggot infested toilet? Use your brain a bit to think first before you answer me, okay?
Leave me alone now and pass me my favourite 100 Plus please. I need to re-charge and re-energise my body.
Cleaning after someone else’s shit is the shittiest job in the muggle world and it totally sucks up my ENERGY and creativity.
Give me a cyber-hug now my friend. So that I can share and unload some shit to you.
No?!
Me stink?!
Aiyaaa~ Don’t be like that laa, what are friends for?!
*Cheeky grin*
There are so many days in the week, i.e., Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday but why all the shit choose to come out on Monday only? Is this some sort of conspiracy or something?
And on Monday, some people i.e., my colleagues, love to take leave to make their weekend longer so that they can be a bum and laze at home for just that tad bit longer. FYI, it’s just only 24 hours extra to be exact.
Seriously my friends, sleeping too much is going to break your brittle bones and make you fat like that moronic whiny pussy cat called Garfield.
And because of your nonchalant attitude, your toilet bowl has finally decided to spew shit today. I have no choice but to go down and do the dirty work for you by myself with my own bare hands, which is totally and ridiculously insane especially when I don’t have your lanjiao key to open the shitty toilet door to clean up the mess for you. Not to mention the accompanying stinking shit that comes with it.
I can only watch & wait with abated breadth, and, wait & watch the amazingly humongous shit to grow and terrorise our comfort zone just because your phone has decided to power off due to PERIOD???!!!
DIE DIE DIE already you penis-shrunken TOAD!!! Go & buy some tampons for your bloody phone now!
*Slap and kick the stupid GARFIELD’s groin*
*Pull the big fat GARFIELD’s tresses until it’s bald and patchy*
*Fry the hairless GARFIELD in a pot of hot boiling oil*
*Put the oily GARFIELD meat onto the dinner table for you to eat tonight*
The worst part is my boss has the habit to hibernate in his lair when shits overflow. And he expects me to be Harry Potter, raise my wand and everything will go back to normal again.
ARrrrrrrrrgggggggggGGGGGGHHHHHHhhhhh!!!
WHERE IN MY RESUME THAT SAYS I GRADUATE FROM Hogwarts the School of Witchcraft and Wizardry???!!!!! HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!
WHEN DID YOU SEE THAT I OWN A WAND AND KNOW HOW TO TURN A TOAD INTO A GARFIELD???!!!!! HUH?! HUH?! HUH?!
If I do have a wand and know magic, do you think I would still be here cleaning your maggot infested toilet? Use your brain a bit to think first before you answer me, okay?
Leave me alone now and pass me my favourite 100 Plus please. I need to re-charge and re-energise my body.
Cleaning after someone else’s shit is the shittiest job in the muggle world and it totally sucks up my ENERGY and creativity.
Give me a cyber-hug now my friend. So that I can share and unload some shit to you.
No?!
Me stink?!
Aiyaaa~ Don’t be like that laa, what are friends for?!
*Cheeky grin*
<< Home