My requirements

Ed note: My good friend Dr Vagus’s balls are pretty HEAVY today. How do I know? Because I have just weighed them myself with my own bare hands. *Hehehe* Click here to find out more on Dr Vagus’s balls. Congratulations doc, your big balls have been officially recorded in MY Guinness World Record. *wink wink*

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When I was a 5-year-old, I don’t like boys. I fucking hate them. They pushed, they shoved and they shouted like monkeys with no teeth. I find them pretty annoying and FUGLY!!!

My requirements on guys when I was a 5-year-old:
FUCK YOU ALL MONKEYS WITH NO TEETH!!! YOU CAN ALL JUMP INTO THE RIVER AND DROWN YOUR FUCKING SMELLY ARSE OFF!!!

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When I was a 10-year-old, there was a new guy transferred to my school. He was cute, smart and he was a very good badminton player. Every time he talked to me, I will blush and avoid meeting his eyes. Me was shy liddat maaa...

My requirements on guys when I was a 10-year-old:
Clean, smart and can play badminton with me.

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When I was a 15-year-old, I was surrounded by flies bees. Mom was so worried that she sent me off to an all girls’ school in NZ to continue my studies. I was living like a nun then. Everyday also vegetarian food only, so sienz.

My requirements on guys when I was a 15-year-old:
Last time I used to like Leon Lai very much. So anyone that has a slight physical resemblance with Leon Lai will do.

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When I was a 20-year-old, I was very busy with assignments, projects, tests and exams. The schedule was hectic because I was doing two degrees with three majors within four years time. And thus that had left me with no time for dating.

My requirements on guys when I was a 20-year-old:
FUCK IT!!! I don’t have time to think about guys!!! My A+ is more important to me than anything else in the world!!!

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When I was a 22-year-old, I completed my first TWO degrees. Whee. There were three guys after me at that time. One is a Kiwi, one is a Chindian and one is a Chinese. I chose the Chinese guy because he has less body hair. ;p

My requirements on guys when I was a 22-year-old:
Tall, Handsome and Successful.

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When I was a 24-year-old, I was still dating the Chinese guy.

My requirements on guys when I was a 24-year-old:
• Love me
• Love animals
• Tall
• Athlete
• Young
• Handsome
• Smart
• Funny
• Honest
• Hardworking
• Non-smoker
• Non-drinker
• Smell decent
• Cute butt
• Not too hairy on the body and not too bald on the head
• Good kisser
• Well Off
• Help me with domestic chores
• Will save me first when his mother and I are both drowning
• Virgin

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And now, I am single and available again and my NEW requirements are as follows:
1) Love me AND my family
2) Respect me
3) Loyal
4) Honest
5) Hardworking
6) Smart
7) Humorous
8) Must be taller than me
9) Non-smoker
10) Know how to mix Kahlua + Milk to make it tastes like Bailey’s

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If I am still single and available when I turn 30 years old in a few years time, my requirements will dwindle down to:
1) Love me AND my family
2) Respect Me
3) Loyal
4) Honest
5) Hardworking

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And if I am still single and available when I turn 40,




I WILL FUCK ANYTHING WITH TWO LEGS ON THE STREETS!!!



Disclaimer: If you take in every single word which I’d uttered in my blog here, congratulations mate, you are a graduate in Idiocy!