I don't want to grow up

When I was a little kid, I cannot wait to grow up because:

1. Adults can watch a lot of movies,
2. Adults can go out anytime they want,
3. Adults can drink alcohol,
4. Adults can scold kids.
5. Adults can buy a lot of things because they have money & etc.

And now that I am an adult myself, I wish to be a little kid again. Because little kid has:

1. Adults to take care of you,
2. Adults to cook for you,
3. Adults to spoil you,
4. Adults to pay attention to your whim and fancy,
5. Adults to spend money on you & etc.

Having two younger siblings at home means that you have to grow up fast and be less dependent on mom and dad. But I guess the worst part is having your own parents declare to you that they are unable to give you much care and attention anymore because they have to focus on your sisters. In addition, you are asked to be a good role model to them and take care of them.

I was only eight then.

And I think this is the reason why I refuse to grow up. I felt as if I haven't been loved enough. I felt as if I haven't been cared for enough. I felt as if my parents put more attention on my sisters than me. I felt as if there is an invisible gap between us.

Sigh. I supposed I am just being selfish and self-centred. Everything is ME, ME, ME & ME and never considers others' feelings and perspectives.

Now that my parents are getting old, I was again forced to climb up the mountain on my own. But this time, with two great responsibilities on my shoulders. I feel so lonely. Where are my sisters? I don't know. I cannot see them climbing the mountain with me.

And wouldn't it be good to have someone says this to you:

"Dear, let me take care of
everything for you."

If someone did say that to me, I would marry him without a second thought. Be him FUGLY, SMELLY, DIRTY, CRAZY, YUCKY, BALD, and OLD. He just needs to take care of everything for me!!!