Once upon a time there's a doctor called Dr Sanjay...
Ed note:
This is an old post of mine from my now-defunct + long-buried blog. I was having a conversation with Dr Bernard regarding dodgy doc the other day, and he enlightened me with the standard protocols that a doc can conduct on his/her patient. Hence, I would like to dedicate this post to him and to all my medical friends in the blogosphere. Enjoy.
I have had a bad case of diarrhoea since last night and I went to see the doctor this morning.
I stepped into Clinic A. Lucky me, it was empty. I thought that I don't have to wait long for my turn to come. But I was wrong. The doctor on duty was chatting amiably with 'someone' (presumably a pretty sweet-young-thing) in the consultation room. 40 minutes later, the conversation was still going strong. While the number of patients in the clinic was growing, my patience was shrinking. So I walked out of Clinic A and stepped into Clinic B.
It was my first time visiting Clinic B. There were already two patients waiting for their turns before my arrival but I don't have to wait long for my turn to come. 10 minutes later, my name was called. And I am impressed. The doctor on duty was Dr Sanjay (not real name).
Well, Sanjay is an Indian name, but when I stepped into the consultation room I saw a very young 'Chinese-looking' guy with a pair of sepet eyes. I thought I have entered the wrong room and when I was about to retreat...
Dr: "Good morning Ms Titoki? I am Dr Sanjay, please have a seat."
Me: "Good morning." *Proceed to sit down as told*
Dr: "How are you feeling?"
Me: "I have diarrhoea since last night."
Dr: "Let me see if you have fever too. I am going to put this into your ear to get your temperature, it won't hurt but you will feel a bit ticklish."
Me: "Okay." *Lean my ear forward*
Dr: "Hmmm... No fever. What did you eat last night?"
Me: "I had some Tom Yam soup and seafood for dinner."
Dr: "What kind of seafood did you eat?"
Me: "Prawns, oysters, bla bla bla..."
Dr: "It must be the oysters!!! Okay, how did you eat it?"
(Me in deep thoughts: "FTW. What kind of Q is that?!")
Me: "Well, I ate it raw with lemon juice."
Dr: "Where did you eat the oysters?"
Me: "Somewhere in Subang."
Dr: "Do you work in Subang?"
(Me in deep thoughts: "KNS. This question has nothing to do with my diarrhoea.")
Me: "NO." *With great annoyance*
Dr: "Ms Titoki, I need you to lie down on the bed as I need to check your tummy."
Me: *Walk over to bed and lie down*
Dr: "Can you open up your mouth?"
Me: *Open up my mouth*
Dr: "Eeeww, do you know that you have an ulcer on your tongue? Ms Titoki, you are very dry. You need to drink more liquids."
(Me in deep thoughts: "Of course I know I have an ulcer, dork. It hurts everytime I chew on my food. Duh. And me dry EXACTLY where. And what has my ulcer gotto do with my diarrhoea??!!")
Me: "Okay." *Nod my head*
Dr: "Now I am going to press on your tummy, if you feel any pain, please let me know."
Me: *Nod my head again*
Dr: "Do you feel any pain here?" *Randomly press east, west, centre, north, south on my tummy*
Me: "No."
Dr: "What about here?"
Me: "No."
Dr: "And here?" *Suddenly pressed super hard*
Me: "Ouch!!! That hurts."
(Me cursed under my breadth: "@$*&%$#!!!")
Dr: "When was your last period?"
Me: "HUH??!!"
(Me shocked and totally dumbstruck: "WHAT has my period gotto do with my diarrhoea NOW??!!")
Dr: "Can you remember the first day of your last period?"
Me: "Xth day of Mar." *With great annoyance*
Dr: "Ms Titoki, you can come down now."
Me: *Walk back to my seat*
Dr: "I am going to give you some salt, this and that... Avoid oily food like Laksa, Char Kuey Teow, etc etc. Don't drink coffee, juice, tea or milk. Take some rest and drink more water. You may go now Ms Titoki."
Me: "Okay, cheebye doc."
Dr: "Sorry?"
Me: "Oops, Did I slur? Must be the ulcer!" *Run for my life*
Tell me what kind of dodgy doc is that?! Supposed to be an Indian but look like a Chinese. Summore got the guts to question his/her patient where he/she works, how he/she eats her oysters, and the worst of all, told her that she is DRY?! WTF?!?!?!?!
If you are a nurse or a patient (waiting outside) and you overheard a conversation with phrases like, "Oysters, dry, open your mouth, ouch, that hurts, when was your last period, cheebye." What would you think of the situation? What would have crossed your mind?
Those who have got no-head-no-tail of the circumstances would assume that the two fellas inside sure got jalan one. Poor me. Reputation ruined. Image gone. Semua habis. This will definitely be my first and last visit to the clinic. There will be no more doctors called Sanjay for me. For the rest of my life.
This is an old post of mine from my now-defunct + long-buried blog. I was having a conversation with Dr Bernard regarding dodgy doc the other day, and he enlightened me with the standard protocols that a doc can conduct on his/her patient. Hence, I would like to dedicate this post to him and to all my medical friends in the blogosphere. Enjoy.
I have had a bad case of diarrhoea since last night and I went to see the doctor this morning.
I stepped into Clinic A. Lucky me, it was empty. I thought that I don't have to wait long for my turn to come. But I was wrong. The doctor on duty was chatting amiably with 'someone' (presumably a pretty sweet-young-thing) in the consultation room. 40 minutes later, the conversation was still going strong. While the number of patients in the clinic was growing, my patience was shrinking. So I walked out of Clinic A and stepped into Clinic B.
It was my first time visiting Clinic B. There were already two patients waiting for their turns before my arrival but I don't have to wait long for my turn to come. 10 minutes later, my name was called. And I am impressed. The doctor on duty was Dr Sanjay (not real name).
Well, Sanjay is an Indian name, but when I stepped into the consultation room I saw a very young 'Chinese-looking' guy with a pair of sepet eyes. I thought I have entered the wrong room and when I was about to retreat...
Dr: "Good morning Ms Titoki? I am Dr Sanjay, please have a seat."
Me: "Good morning." *Proceed to sit down as told*
Dr: "How are you feeling?"
Me: "I have diarrhoea since last night."
Dr: "Let me see if you have fever too. I am going to put this into your ear to get your temperature, it won't hurt but you will feel a bit ticklish."
Me: "Okay." *Lean my ear forward*
Dr: "Hmmm... No fever. What did you eat last night?"
Me: "I had some Tom Yam soup and seafood for dinner."
Dr: "What kind of seafood did you eat?"
Me: "Prawns, oysters, bla bla bla..."
Dr: "It must be the oysters!!! Okay, how did you eat it?"
(Me in deep thoughts: "FTW. What kind of Q is that?!")
Me: "Well, I ate it raw with lemon juice."
Dr: "Where did you eat the oysters?"
Me: "Somewhere in Subang."
Dr: "Do you work in Subang?"
(Me in deep thoughts: "KNS. This question has nothing to do with my diarrhoea.")
Me: "NO." *With great annoyance*
Dr: "Ms Titoki, I need you to lie down on the bed as I need to check your tummy."
Me: *Walk over to bed and lie down*
Dr: "Can you open up your mouth?"
Me: *Open up my mouth*
Dr: "Eeeww, do you know that you have an ulcer on your tongue? Ms Titoki, you are very dry. You need to drink more liquids."
(Me in deep thoughts: "Of course I know I have an ulcer, dork. It hurts everytime I chew on my food. Duh. And me dry EXACTLY where. And what has my ulcer gotto do with my diarrhoea??!!")
Me: "Okay." *Nod my head*
Dr: "Now I am going to press on your tummy, if you feel any pain, please let me know."
Me: *Nod my head again*
Dr: "Do you feel any pain here?" *Randomly press east, west, centre, north, south on my tummy*
Me: "No."
Dr: "What about here?"
Me: "No."
Dr: "And here?" *Suddenly pressed super hard*
Me: "Ouch!!! That hurts."
(Me cursed under my breadth: "@$*&%$#!!!")
Dr: "When was your last period?"
Me: "HUH??!!"
(Me shocked and totally dumbstruck: "WHAT has my period gotto do with my diarrhoea NOW??!!")
Dr: "Can you remember the first day of your last period?"
Me: "Xth day of Mar." *With great annoyance*
Dr: "Ms Titoki, you can come down now."
Me: *Walk back to my seat*
Dr: "I am going to give you some salt, this and that... Avoid oily food like Laksa, Char Kuey Teow, etc etc. Don't drink coffee, juice, tea or milk. Take some rest and drink more water. You may go now Ms Titoki."
Me: "Okay, cheebye doc."
Dr: "Sorry?"
Me: "Oops, Did I slur? Must be the ulcer!" *Run for my life*
Tell me what kind of dodgy doc is that?! Supposed to be an Indian but look like a Chinese. Summore got the guts to question his/her patient where he/she works, how he/she eats her oysters, and the worst of all, told her that she is DRY?! WTF?!?!?!?!
If you are a nurse or a patient (waiting outside) and you overheard a conversation with phrases like, "Oysters, dry, open your mouth, ouch, that hurts, when was your last period, cheebye." What would you think of the situation? What would have crossed your mind?
Those who have got no-head-no-tail of the circumstances would assume that the two fellas inside sure got jalan one. Poor me. Reputation ruined. Image gone. Semua habis. This will definitely be my first and last visit to the clinic. There will be no more doctors called Sanjay for me. For the rest of my life.
Labels: People
<< Home